Helping Your Dog Feel Calm and Confident When You’re Away: Separation Anxiety

It’s hard to leave your dog at home when you head out for errands, work, or even a short trip — we get it. At Your Furry Godmothers LLC, we care deeply about every pet’s comfort and wellbeing, including how they feel when you’re not around. If your dog seems anxious, destructive, or upset when you leave, it could be more than boredom or mischief: it might be separation anxiety. Let’s talk about what you can watch for — and what you can do to help your dog feel calm, safe, and confident when you’re away.

What is separation anxiety?

When a dog becomes acutely stressed about being separated from its owner or left alone, it’s often called separation anxiety. The stress shows not only in big behavior changes but also in subtler everyday signs: panting, trembling, pacing, barking/whining, destruction of household items or using the bathroom indoors after being reliably house-trained. Even just being walked into a different room from you or hearing the car keys can trigger the reaction.

Signs to watch for:

• Your dog begins pacing, panting or vocalizing the moment you head out the door, or soon after.

• He or she tears up furniture, chews doors or windowsills, tries to escape or acts destructive when you’re away.

• Accidents indoors despite years of being house-trained, especially during or shortly after you leave.

• Restlessness, salivating, refusal to eat, or heavy clinginess when you are home and preparing to leave. If you recognize several of these, it’s worth making a plan.

  
  

What causes separation anxiety?

While every dog is unique, common causes include:

• Insufficient early training to be comfortable alone (especially if they were always with people).

• Traumatic background or adoption from a shelter, where the dog experienced abandonment or loss.

• Major changes in routine or environment — for example, if you used to work from home and then suddenly left the house for long periods. These factors can make your dog feel uncertain or insecure when you leave — so they compensate by becoming over-attached or disruptive.

  
  

How you can help your dog feel more secure and independent:

1. Build a dependable routine and a safe space. Dogs thrive on predictability. Try to maintain consistent feeding, walking, play and rest times. Give your dog a dedicated bed, mat or crate that becomes their safe retreat—a place they associate with calm and comfort, not chaos or punishment.

2. Use exercise and mental activities wisely. Before you leave, take your dog for a good walk or provide a burst of play—physical activity can help them settle. Then give a food-puzzle toy or treat-stuffed chew that keeps them engaged after you leave. This gives them something positive to focus on while you’re away.

3. Desensitize departure cues and gradually increase alone time. Dogs often pick up on your “leaving signals” (keys in hand, coat on, bag packed). Practice those cues without leaving, so they lose their meaning as a trigger. Then begin short absences—just a minute or two—and slowly lengthen them while rewarding calm behavior. Over time your dog realizes that you do come back and that being alone isn’t scary.

4. Keep departures and arrivals low key. Big good-byes or exciting reunions can heighten your dog’s emotion around your absence and return. Instead, when you leave: quietly say goodbye, then go. When you return: give a calm greeting, wait until your dog is relaxed before ramping up the affection. This teaches them that your comings and goings are ordinary.

5. Seek help when needed. If your dog’s anxiety is severe—escaping, self-harm, constant vocalizing, or you’re stuck in a pattern—it may be time to bring in a trainer or behaviorist who specializes in separation anxiety. In some cases veterinary support may also be needed to rule out underlying health issues.

6. Consider professional in-home support. This is where Your Furry Godmothers can step in for you. If you’re away for work, travel, or sudden shifts in schedule, I can provide frequent check-ins, short visits or full overnight stays so your dog has contact, care and continuity. This reduces stress for your pet and helps you maintain a reliable schedule while we ease transitions together.

   

Separation anxiety doesn’t always happen because you’re a bad owner — in fact, many wonderful dogs struggle simply because they’re deeply bonded and sensitive. The good news is: with patience, thoughtful training and the right support, your dog can learn to feel secure and calm, even when you’re not right beside them. If you’re concerned about your dog’s behaviour when you leave, let’s schedule a conversation. Together we’ll find the right approach to make your pet feel safe, loved and relaxed every day.

Don't hesitate to call or text us at 405-673-3306 or book online at www.yourfurrygodmothers.com